Note: The runs scored in game 2 were in Garbage Time

Remember when the Phillies offense was good? Me neither.

Today’s weird NBA story is almost as strange as me leaving the bar before 1 a.m. last night. Maybe I’m getting old? That’s depressing. Anyway, Zach Randolph has been able to score from the low block effectively for years, and grab a decent number of boards. But, he’s never been known for dishing or his hustle. Until now. Apparently, Mr. Randolph has been implicated in a major drug investigation in Indianapolis, as a prime dealer of marijuana in the city.

A stake out on a suspected drug house 2 weeks ago led to 32 year old Arthur Boyd being pulled over in a Cadillac Escalade. The vehicle had marijuana and ammunition inside, and was registered to Randolph.

The Escalade led police to a storage facility where they say Randolph rents four lockers. According to the document, police dogs found controlled substances in two of the four lockers.

John Tompkins, Randolph’s attorney, was quoted by 6News saying that Randolph is not connected to any drug activity. He went on to say that the vehicle’s secret compartments were a safety precaution for concealing valuables. The Memphis Grizzlies will release a statement supporting Randolph on Thursday, according to Tompkins.

Is anyone really all that surprised?

I’ll admit, I’m now 0fer 2 in calling the past two NBA playoff games. I thought the Lakers would beat the Suns last night in Phoenix, taking a 3-1 lead back to L.A. for an anticlimactic game five. I thought the Suns’ use of a zone defense in game four was a gimmick, a one-time tactical adjustment by coach Alvin Gentry that had surprised and frustrated the Lakers temporarily, until they had a day or two to watch tape, game-plan and adjust accordingly. After all, they have Phil Jackson, probably the best passing big man in the league in Pau Gasol, an ideal ‘stretch-four’ in Lamar Odom, and one of the top two players in the league in Kobe Bryant. Done and done, right? 

Not so much. The Lakers find themselves in a hot zone against Phoenix both offensively and defensively, as the Suns roared (or blazed I guess, for the whole sun metaphor) to a 115-106 victory in game 4 last night. There were periods where it seemed like Phoenix couldn’t miss a shot, and especially a three, which frustrated the Lakers. So what, right? Phoenix can’t shoot 50% again can they? The Phoenix bench can’t again shoot 63% (!), right? Well, probably not. But it’s deeper than that. 

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A sad day for the NFL world, and also for the one ITS dude in my building with the big glasses, stammering voice, and awkward handshake, as Jared Allen has decided to discontinue the best haircut in the league, shaving his mullet for his upcoming wedding.

“The mullet isn’t just a hairdo. It’s definitely a lifestyle. You’re carrying on a legacy,” he said “If I approach you from the front, it’s like, wow, that dude is pretty serious. Then I walk away and you’re like, damn, he likes to party. With two Rs.”

However, Allen hinted on this Twitter page Wednesday that “The Mullet” might reappear at some point.

“The mullet was trimmed for the wedding but the Moolay is more than just some hair, its a lifestyle! You gotta keep a positive Mullitude…”

It’s hump day y’all. Don’t take a mulligan on your Mullitude.

Superman-ish? Maybe?

I thought the Celtics would win. You thought the Celtics would win. The Celtics thought the Celtics would win. But, the Stan Van Gundy and the Orlando Magic had different plans for Monday night, as they defeated Boston 96-92 in overtime, showing some of the same offensive and defensive efficiency that led to a dominant end of the regular season and 8-0 playoff record before facing Boston.

During the regular season, Orlando was statistically the best defensive team in the league, anchored by Defensive Player of the Year, Dwight Howard. They’d challenge every shot and continuously manage to disrupt their opponents’ passing lanes, leading to transition dunks and spot up 3s. It was working for Orlando last night, as they held Boston to 42% shooting and managed to force 16 turnovers. Dwight Howard will do his thing in the middle (both defensively and offensively; Dwight finished with 32 and 16), but someone you won’t hear about is J.J. Redick, who continues to play exemplary defense on Ray Allen, chasing him through screen after screen and managing to force Mr. Shuttlesworth into tough shot after tough shot. There’s a reason Redick finished the game with a +/- of +14, and it has less to do with his 12 points in 33 minutes than his tough defense on Allen.

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Tim Tebow has taken exactly zero NFL snaps. But, that hasn’t stopped ESPN from creating it’s own Tebow bandwagon, as the newly released Tebow Watch page updates you daily on everything Tim Tebow. Yes, all the articles and coverage you could ever want of your favorite volunteering virgin are now conveniently in one place, on the worldwide leader. About halfway down the page, this insightful headline actually appears:

Much of Tim Tebow’s rookie season will consist of activities such as carrying his teammates’ helmets and buying them food.

Um, hooray?  ESPN also unveiled the Lebron Tracker last week, but that makes more sense, since the King’s summer decision will affect countless NBA franchises and individuals. But where does it end? Do we get a Favre Watch? A Tiger In Vegas Running Diary? A Big Ben In Therapy Blog?

Yeah, I’d read all of them.

This bundle of joy is Robert Strohmeyer, 42-year-old Columbus, Ohio native. Over the weekend, Robert, his 6-year-old daughter, his 8-year-old son, and his girlfriend went to a local Pittsburgh restaurant to grab a bite to eat. Over the course of the meal, Robert and his girlfriend got into a disagreement, which ended with the girlfriend leaving the table to go sit in the car, otherwise known as a Tuesday night at Applebees for my ex-girlfriend and I. Anyway, Robert decides at this point he should honor his tickets to the nearby Pittsburgh Pirates game with his son and he proceeds, leaving his 6-year-old daughter alone in the restaurant. Hey, at least he left her $6 to pay for the meal. Anyway, local authorities located Strohmeyer tailgating in the parking lot, where he was then taken to Allegheny County Jail.

The key to the story is this – he left for a Pirates game? Steelers – OK, Penguins – OK, but the Pirates? No wonder he got arrested.

The Favre Saga continues. On Thursday morning, noted retiring/unretiring expert Brett Favre visited the Southern Miss Golden Eagles baseball team. Antics ensued.

The Minnesota Vikings quarterback told the Golden Eagles on Thursday morning that if they can make it back to the College World Series for the second straight year, he will return for one more season in the NFL.

Southern Miss players have a lot of work to do if they want to force Favre into action. They are 30-20 and need wins to earn a postseason invitation.

I think I figured out what the Southern Miss players should do. They should win a bunch of games, enough to give themselves a shot at the CWS; possibly a win-and-you’re-in scenario. They should play solid if not spectacular during this final game. And in the bottom of the 9th, they should commit an egregious, mind-numbingly dumb error that gives the other team the victory. I could get on board with that.

To their credit, the Orlando Magic came to play last night. During Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals in Orlando, the Magic corrected most of their mistakes from their Game 1 loss. They got the ball down low to Dwight Howard early and often, as Howard finished with 30 points on 9-13 shooting from the field and 12-17 from the line. They got better looks from three, going 7-18, although their 18 attempts were far fewer than their regular season average of 27. They played better defensively on everyone on the Celtics not named Paul Pierce.

It still wasn’t enough.

Down 3 with less than a minute left, Vince Carter was at the free throw line with a chance to cut the deficit to 1. He missed both free throws, likely cementing his place in Magic free throw follies history. After a Celtics miss and Magic rebound, J.J. Redick made the mistake of advancing the ball (not past mid court) before calling timeout, meaning that the Magic had to in-bound the ball behind the half-court stripe with under 5 seconds left in the game. A desperation 3 by Jameer Nelson fell short, the Celtics won by a final of 95-92, and now take a commanding 2-0 lead back to Boston.

The Magic might pull out a game in Boston, but realistically, they are done. They lost the first two games of the series on their home floor. Rajon Rondo is absolutely dominating the playoffs, posting a 25 point, 8 rebound, 5 assist, 2 steal performance last night that doesn’t even do justice to what he actually contributed. Paul Pierce came out of the gate firing, and finished with a cool 28 points. In a startling yet not surprising juxtaposition, immediately before Vince missed the two free throws mentioned above, Pierce calmly nailed 2 to put Boston up by the final margin. With the public coronation of Rondo, Kevin Garnett has quietly dominated his opposition these playoffs, starting with Antawn Jamison and continuing with Rashard Lewis, who has 11 points on 4-16 shooting IN TWO GAMES.

Don’t look now, but with the Celtics heading home up 2-0, and a certain L.A. team finally looking motivated for consecutive games, we might be heading for a classic NBA Finals match-up. that those of us who grew up in the 90’s will pretend we understand

I was pretty excited about Game 1 of the Western Conference Finals last night, pitting the Los Angeles Lakers against the Phoenix Suns in L.A. A long, physical, defense-oriented, triangle-offense team playing a run-and-gun, up-tempo team with a ton of chemistry and a deep bench promises for intriguing match-ups and a really high ceiling in playoff basketball.

Game 1 last night, which the Lakers won by a final of  128-107, was alarming if I’m a Phoenix fan, and reassuring if I’m a Lakers backer. After polishing off the Spurs in four games, many were talking about Phoenix’s newfound defensive prowess, with Grant Hill as primary defensive stopper, Jared Dudley and Channing Frye making key contributions off the bench, and Robin Lopez (when returning from injury) adding in a dose of toughness. That defense was rendered moot as Kobe dropped 40 points, 21 in a 3rd quarter that was as dominating a stretch of basketball as I’ve seen in the playoffs. Everyone had their chance at stopping Kobe (Hill, Dudley, Jason Richardson), but when he’s on like he was last night, there’s just no stopping him.

The obvious advantage the Lakers have in the series is the length of their bigs, as Pau Gasol, Andrew Bynum, and Lamar Odom have a distinct size and strength advantage over Hill, Lopez, and Stoudemire. Phoenix knew this and seemed to body up the Lakers bigs and attempt to deny entry passes all night. The result? The Lakers were able slash and drive the lane, leading to 56 (!) points in the paint as they cruised to a twenty point victory.

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I’m only half-skeptical that this conversation could have actually occurred during Game 1 of the Magic-Celtics NBA Eastern Conference Finals yesterday. Which the Celtics won, by the way, by the score of 92-88, to steal away home court advantage from the Magic and in the process hand the confident Magic their first loss of the playoffs. The Magic seemed to realize after the first half that they weren’t up against the Bobcats and Hawks of the NBA world, and were now facing an opponent with serious playoff mettle as well as the added motivation of being considered an underdog. I rattled on and on to a friend Saturday night about how “watchable” the NBA is again, and after a poorly played first half from both teams, the same friend sent me this text: ”I’m watching a Brandy-Ray J reality show on VH1 right now. Way more watchable than that first half.” I couldn’t even stir up a comeback.

Anyway, the Magic looked unprepared to host a hungry Celtics team, and an awkward self-interview with Dwight Howard acting as Clark Kent during halftime did little to dispel the notion that the Celtics are taking this playoff run more seriously than the Magic. Let’s see how Orlando responds to their first test of the playoffs. Game 2 is Wednesday night at 8:30 p.m. on ESPN.

Hey, if it doesn’t work out, don’t worry! At least Orlando has a lot of cougars!

Phil Jackson, master motivator and media manipulator, took it upon himself to call out the Great Canadian Hope on Friday, when asked if it’s tough for the Lakers to prepare to face Steve Nash, because of the Suns guard’s frenetic style.

“Yeah, because you can’t carry the ball like he does in practice,” Jackson said, making a gesture of palming the basketball. “You can’t pick that ball up and run with it.”

Nice Phil. Now the whole world will be watching the Western Conference Finals to inspect whether or not Steve Nash carries the basketball. Nash was asked about Phil’s comments on Saturday, and not to be outdone, had an outstanding reply:

“It’s news to me. I’m fortunate. I don’t know if I’ve been called for a carry yet,” he said after the Suns practiced Saturday, then he added straight-faced: “I’ve never heard anyone accuse me of carrying it. I mean, the best coach in the league, Gregg Popovich, didn’t have a problem with it last week. We have the best officials in the world,” Nash continued. “I’ll just leave it up to them.”

Umm boom? And roasted?

 Suns coach Alvin Gentry spoke up as well:

“You guys got to admire Phil,” Gentry said. “C’mon, the stuff that he throws out there, I mean I think it’s great. He’s very creative. There’s a reason. But I think you’ve got to understand that there’s kind of a method to his madness. If you let it affect you, then it will.

“We spent the day ducking elbows on post-ups, to see if we could duck elbows on post-ups, ” Gentry said, a not-to-thinly veiled nod to the Lakers’ style. “So it all works out, it all works out.”

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH NO YOU DIDN’T!

Game 1 is tonight at 9 p.m. on TNT.

So a few days ago, I began reading the 2009 edition of The Best of American Sports Writing, which I’m beginning to find is a must-read for any sports fan. You’ll find stories about the most notable sports figures of 2009, but not in a typical, OMG THEY’RE SO GREAT sort of way. These writers put together profiles that make me think, make me feel, and overall, make the athletes more human. However, I’m finding the more interesting and rewarding stories cover people that I typically don’t hear about, people like Luma Mufleh, a wandering twenty-something who found herself unfulfilled in a life as a cocktail waitress and started a soccer league for refugee children in suburban Atlanta. She acted as a soccer coach, tutor, disciplinarian, and eventually mother, to countless children who endured unthinkable atrocities in numerous countries. Her story of courage and hope is an inspiring one, and I dare you to not feel compelled to get off your butt and do something – anything – once you’re finished reading.

An excerpt, describing the children and Luma, after the jump:

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After years of being ousted from the NBA playoffs by the San Antonio Spurs in excruciating, and often bizarre fashion, Steve Nash and the Phoenix Suns completed a very satisfying and entertaining sweep on Sunday evening, beating the Spurs 107-101 in San Antonio. Nash left the game in the 3rd quarter after receiving an inadvertent elbow from Tim Duncan, and returned with temporary stitches above his right eye in order to finish the game. He managed to hit a couple of big buckets down the stretch, and effectively set up key Amare Stoudemire baskets on the Suns’ patented screen and roll. All with one eye. I am firmly rooting for this team to win the NBA Finals, and therefore, you all should too. A much tougher test awaits the Suns in the conference finals, as (seemingly) the Lakers will be their opponent. The physical, post-up game the Lakers employ with Pau Gasol, Andrew Bynum, and Kobe Bryant, is a far cry from the pick-and-roll/drive-and-kick game of the Spurs, and presents a match-up issue for Los Suns.

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Throughout the NFL off-season, you’ll read about the big issues surrounding each team. You’ll hear about them again and again, to the point that you’ll know the glaring questions facing each club. You’ll become sick of them, and you’ll be watching for them all season. Here at YBTWTG, we’ll highlight issues you might not be thinking about, but may be just as important to the team’s 2010 success.

Question you’ll hear about consistently: How many wins will the new additions bring?  

More so than any other team in the NFC and possibly the entire league, the Redskins made wholesale changes in their organization. Gone are General Manager Vinny Cerrato, and head coach Jim Zorn. Gone are starting quarterback Jason Campbell and stalwart offensive tackle, Chris Samuels. New General Manager Bruce Allen, Head Coach Mike Shanahan, and to an extent, offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan have been brought in to improve a club that has disappointed a devoted fan base in recent years, through high priced free agent signings, underwhelming drafts, and general incompetence on the field.  In addition to the front office, players like Donovan McNabb, Larry Johnson, Willie Parker and Joey Galloway were brought in to help improve a 4-win team in a tough division. Will it work? 

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